Updated: Feb 8
The silent screams for help were what drew me to you. I came running when no one else even realized that you were calling out. There was no panic or an inkling of a cry for help. I could read through the smile. I could sense the pain because it was the same as mine. I had made that same expression before even though my body had been overfilled with fluid that was now causing my heart to barely beat. The suffocation of everything in me was so severe that no one could possibly tell that physically I was dying. The patience I forced myself to have as I rushed to your aid although you said for me to calm down, just breathe. I wouldn't be able to let you go through this alone. No one came for me when I bled from the impact of my wounds but:
You needed me.
I needed you.
We need each other.
Here we are now hand in hand.
Both with a smile looking unafraid.
How can anyone see that you are no longer in danger but I am?
I am carrying all the weight on my shoulders now.
I grabbed your hand because I wanted to save you but now I have been pulled in and placed beneath the weight of your body while the water now fills my lungs.
As long as you are propped up I can hold onto you. I can protect you from the waves that overwhelm me.
As long as I stay down here, you will never be in danger again.
It's suicide. It is so painful but I took that from you. I felt so deeply for you that I was willing to put myself through it for you.
I never wanted you to feel the hurt, desperation, or fear that I have experienced. I trusted the wrong people and put myself in situations willingly.
I am cold anyway.
My limbs have been lifeless for so long that I can't remember the last time life was in them.
I push forward willingly so that you can always rely on me. This is all that I have left and until my time comes I will be down here.