Updated: Dec 2, 2019
When do you finally come out and say what your heart is feeling? Will there ever be a time when I don't fee shame? Why must I make sacrifices when there are things that won't be compromised on?
I'm tired. I'm in a state of confusion. I search for answer and I don't even really know how to stop asking questions long enough to get them. My head is racing and my thoughts could overwhelm a scholar.
How do I live this life? How do I continue to be a wife and mother when I want to just know who Leslie is and what will make her happy. The struggle did not define me it redefined me. It made me stronger, it made me more responsible, it allowed me to understand priorities.
I have had roles in the things that have gone wrong and that have gone right. My peace has been rattled and torn apart. I have moments where my truth drags me to the depths of the bottom of the barrel. I have to overcome those moments and live in my truth with a smile.
I have been to the bottom and lost it all because I had no voice. My voice was taken from me at a very young age. I have been taken advantage of because of my insecurities and unwillingness to trust anyone.
I felt for a long time that any person who treated me nicely is someone I can trust and respect. Those are some of the same people who betrayed my trust. I have endured and stressed through many situations that built me as an individual, wife, and mother.
I have accepted my mistakes. I have come to the understanding of where I went wrong. I will not let anyone else tell my story because they were not walking in my shoes or sleeping with me in that vehicle. You may not have been there and you may not understand how I got there but I have taken accountability for me.